


Deaf Like Me

by Deaf_Cecil



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Black Carlos, Blow Jobs, Carlos has NF2, Deaf Character, Disabled Character, Dom/sub Undertones, Hickies, Late Deafened Adult!Carlos, M/M, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary!Cecil, native!Cecil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-09
Updated: 2015-06-09
Packaged: 2018-04-03 14:33:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4104400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deaf_Cecil/pseuds/Deaf_Cecil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Cecil had a lot of hickies. Not in the high school 'my boyfriend gave me a hickie in the back of his car last night' sense -- although they did have to admit that happened. In the real, scientific, 'my neck is at least three shades darker than the rest of my body,' 'wear a scarf to work in the middle of the desert in Jultember' sense."</p><p>Aka: In which Carlos is still coming to terms with his Deafness, and Cecil helps him realize that he's never lost anything at all. Plus blowjobs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Deaf Like Me

Cecil had a lot of hickies. Not in the high school “my boyfriend gave me a hickie in the back of his car last night” sense -- although they did have to admit that happened. In the real, scientific, “my neck is at least three shades darker than the rest of my body,” “wear a scarf to work in the middle of the desert in Jultember” sense.

 

It was Carlos’ fault. He _did_ put them there. Every night -- and sometimes morning, midafternoon, and second moonrising -- they would have sex, and Carlos was virtually attached to Cecil’s neck. It was fine -- even great -- the first few times. But the two had been dating for over a year now, and Cecil was getting a little antsy. It had gotten to the point where Cecil would purposely stay late at the station and come home too tired, or they would finish Carlos off when they were sucking him so their neck was too far away for Carlos to latch onto. Cecil knew from the look in Carlos’ eyes, the strain in the air between them, that Carlos knew something was up. But Carlos followed Cecil’s lead, and wouldn’t bring it up. They knew they’d have to talk about it soon -- it honestly hurt to see Carlos so clearly upset when these things happened. And they missed being so fully intimate with him.

 

But Cecil hoped that the time away had done them some good. Carlos had been off at a science conference talking about some of his scientific findings from Night Vale, someplace called M… Massachusetts? The word tasted weird in Cecil’s mind, unfamiliar. They vaguely wondered, as they reclined on their couch absently, if Carlos was just making places up sometimes.

 

Their phone vibrated in their pocket, jerking Cecil out of their reverie.

 

_Hey babe, I’m home!! -C_

Just as Cecil read the text, the glow of Carlos’ headlights spilled through the window and bathed the wall in yellow before darkening again. Cecil jumped up and bounded over to the door, flinging it open just as Carlos, suitcase in hand, was poised to insert the key into the door. Carlos’ face lit up as he caught sight of the excited flush on Cecil’s cheeks, the way their gorgeous hair arced around them almost impossibly. For all the tightness in the relationship recently, Carlos never stopped falling in love with them.

 

“Welcome home Carlos!” Cecil said, wrapping Carlos up in a tight hug. Carlos’ heart warmed at his partner’s boundless affection, dropping his suitcase and keys on the floor and resting his cane on the wall in favor of throwing them around Cecil.

 

“It’s so good to be home,” he said, pecking Cecil on the cheek as they pulled back.

 

A look crossed in the backs of Cecil’s eyes and they leaned in to kiss Carlos again, harder. Carlos returned the kiss gratefully, almost desperately, hands on Cecil’s shoulders and hustling the pair inside. Cecil was apparently not having that, and crowded Carlos against the wall, one hand gripped in his hair to tilt his head back as they kissed him. The front door was still wide open, a cool desert breeze ghosting over them and making the hair on Cecil’s arms stand up. They shivered, feeling Carlos smile against their lips and guide their other hand into his hair. Cecil gripped the tightly curled strands between his fingers, tugging how they knew Carlos liked.

 

 _Oh finally, yes, yes,_ they thought as Carlos pulled them closer, sliding a thick thigh between their legs, and Cecil wasn’t quite hard yet but they definitely would be soon if Carlos kept rubbing against them like that. Carlos felt incredible, as always; lips soft and pliable in sharp contrast to the science-calloused hands that cupped Cecil’s jaw. Cecil felt their heart beat a wonderfully frantic rhythm in their throat, a distinct hardness pressed against them. Grinding down onto his leg, they couldn’t help but moan. Immediately, Carlos broke the kiss and started mouthing at their jaw, making his way to their throat and attaching his mouth directly onto an old bruise.

 

Cecil sighed, the tight excitement in their chest emptying like an unplugged drain, replaced by a twinge of soreness and defeat. They tapped his shoulder, and he backed up immediately when he saw the discomfort on Cecil’s face, as much as he was able to seeing as Cecil was pressing him into the wall.

 

“What’s wrong, Cecil?” he asked, hands stumbling slightly as he asked the familiar question. “I thought you wanted to--”

 

“I have a lot of hickies, Carlos,” Cecil blurted, gesturing to their neck, patterns like continents marking across the expanse of skin. “I have too many hickies, actually, way too many, and they’re really deep. I mean, I know I’m not as dark as you but I’m already dark for being Native anyway, but my neck looks like the Glow Cloud -- all hail -- dropped a rhinoceros on it.”

 

“So… you want me to stop?” His lips were slightly parted, eyebrows furrowed, and Cecil’s heart ached at the honest confusion. They smoothed a stray lock of Carlos’ flyaway hair down, pressing a reassuring kiss to his forehead. They saw a brief hint of a smile as he leaned into the touch.

 

“Carlos, I love having sex with you, and it’s not that they don’t feel good. In the moment,” Cecil added, rubbing at a particularly dark spot on their neck. “But hickies are just sex bruises, and regardless of why they’re there, they are still bruises and bruises sort of hurt. Except for the bruises from the bottled milk at the grocery store, those just sort of glimmer and tickle, but you know what I mean.”

 

“Yeah, I understand.” He smiled, fiddling with his cane he had rested against the wall earlier. It was decorated with planet and yeti stickers thanks to their last visit with Janice, who delighted in decorating her and Carlos’ mobility aids . “Anything you need, Ceec, you know that. God, I’m so sorry; I feel guilty I haven’t noticed you’re uncomfortable before, but also happy that you told me, and-- No, that’s all.”

 

“Is it?” Cecil asked. They rested a hand on Carlos’ shoulder and guided him over to sit on the couch, thumbing over his collarbone. “Carlos, can I ask why you look sad? Do you have a thing for hickies, because I’m not saying you can never touch my neck again ever, I just need fewer of them.”

 

“It’s not that,” Carlos said, sighing, and sinking deeper into the couch cushions, looking vaguely embarrassed. “It’s just… Sex hasn’t been the same since I lost my hearing. Not worse,” he added quickly, rubbing Cecil’s knee. “Just different. I’m still adjusting, you know that.”

 

“I do. I know it’s been hard sometimes, but you lost your hearing years ago, before you even came to Night Vale.” A thought suddenly occurred to Cecil, who gave him a curious look. “Carlos, have you had sex with anyone other than me since you lost your hearing?”

 

Carlos shook his head. “I was too disoriented. The hearing loss started right after I was diagnosed with Neurofibromatosis. Being hearing and then suddenly deaf… It’s weird, to say the least. After the last of it was gone, even the tinnitus, I was nervous because I had less information about my surroundings to work with. I was really confused and couldn’t function well; my communication skills are already a bit different, I’m autistic so they just are and that’s fine, but it’s not like that helped any. The first time I had sex after losing my hearing was our first time.”

 

Cecil grinned, the memory making warmth spread over their skin. “In case you were wondering, it didn’t show.”

  
He rolled his eyes, but Cecil caught the pleased tilt to his smile. “But it’s not like I was totally unprepared. When I was diagnosed with NF2 I started learning sign language and hoped that I wouldn’t lose feeling in my hands. By the time I really needed it, I was already using ASL as my primary language.”

 

“I remember,” Cecil said, and they did. Like it was only yesterday that sweet Carlos with his bumbling, thick transitions and no knowledge of Night Vale-specific signs had appeared in their little town. “You came to Night Vale just a few months after. Your signing was good.”

 

“You made me fluent. Signing with you made it feel natural, you introduced me to the regional signs of Night Vale. You took me to Night Vale Sign Language night at Big Rico’s, and you were there when I was part of my first ever Deaf joke when we debated the sign for pizza for thirty minutes. And you have no idea how normal I felt, how good I feel. I am Deaf, scientifically and mentally. But I’m not Deaf like you, Cecil. I was a hearing person once.”

 

Cecil hesitated, worrying at their lip with abnormally sharp teeth that Carlos had never stopped eyeing in wonder. “I can’t say I entirely understand your experience. I don’t know what it’s like to hear. But what does that have to do with sex?”

 

Carlos blushed. “I don’t have a thing for hickies, Cecil, I just have a thing for moaning. When I was hearing, I sometimes couldn’t get off if my partner wasn’t vocal enough. Out of every sound, I think I miss that one the most because there’s no replacement for it.”

 

Carlos took Cecil’s hand and placed it on his throat. “When you moan I can feel your vocal cords vibrating,” he signed, vocalizing randomly. Cecil felt the buzz under his dozen fingertips and nodded. “I can even tell that your voice gets higher when you’re about to come because they vibrate differently.” Carlos upped the pitch of his vocalizations until Cecil’s eyebrows went up. Their slender fingers brushed against Carlos’ Adam’s apple as they chased the vibrations higher, to the curving intersection of neck and jawline. Cecil rubbed their thumb over the spot gently before dropping their hand and making a small movement of understanding.

 

“The hickies are just something to do while I’m there, I get a little excited,” Carlos added, a little sheepish but mostly shameless -- it was a little pointless to get embarrassed considering all that he and Cecil had done. “I love having sex with you, and I’m fine with the fact that I’ll never actually hear you. It’s just hard to adjust.”

 

Cecil smiled, leaning over to kiss Carlos lightly. They relaxed even further, basking in his solid presence. He smelled of chemical solvents and sagebrush. “I love you,” they signed, and Carlos felt it more than saw it.

 

“I love you too, and I promise that even though I do think hearing sex is easier, Deaf sex is definitely the best sex I’ve ever had.”

 

“Me too,” Cecil laughed.

 

Carlos rolled his eyes again.

  
“If you keep doing that they’ll roll right out of your head,” Cecil warned. Carlos chuckled but the smile slowly faded when he realized Cecil wasn’t joining in. “No, I’m quite serious. The doctors at the hospital say eyeballs have the least appreciation for sarcasm out of any body part and they may just decide to leave.”

 

Carlos was about to comment, but lowered his hand to his knee and obediently stilled his eyeballs. Cecil sighed and curled closer to him, resting their head on the back of the couch to gaze up at Carlos.

 

“Look, I’m not going to pretend to understand entirely because I can’t. I don’t know what it’s like to go from having a sense and then not having it anymore. But something I think you don’t understand is that when I told you that everything that can be conveyed through spoken language can be conveyed through sign language, I did mean _everything_.”

 

“Cecil, I know that. American Sign Language is, linguistically speaking, a complete language just like any spoken language. Of course some things are language-specific and can’t be directly translated but the same concepts do exist.”

 

“That’s right.” Cecil scooted a little closer. “Say ‘linguistically speaking’ again.”

 

“Cecil,” Carlos sighed, but was unable to suppress the fond smile that tugged at his lips. Cecil surrendered, laughing.

 

“You’ve noticed how my hands move when I laugh?”

 

“I have.” Carlos smiled. “It’s cute.”

 

“Have you noticed how they move when I moan?”

 

Carlos’ eyebrows furrowed and his eyes slid over to the side. “No,” he admitted.

 

“Why is that?” Cecil asked, leaning into Carlos’ side and kissing his jaw slowly, still keeping their eyes on Carlos’ signing space.

 

Carlos swallowed, eyes flicking over to Cecil, his hands slow and faltering. “I’m not used to paying attention to my partner’s hands during sex. I track their voice, general body language, but not hands in particular— Cecil!”

 

Cecil laughed, kissing the spot they’d bitten on Carlos’ neck before drawing back. They proudly examined the blossoming dusky mark. “You should pay more attention in the future. I’m going to ask you to do something for me, all right?”

 

They slid their hand up Carlos’ thigh, firm but still slow. Carlos nodded, and Cecil could see that far-away look starting to haze over his eyes. “Yeah, Cecil?”

 

“Lean back, relax, and pay attention to my hands.”

  
Cecil stroked a hand through Carlos’ hair, kissing him deeply as they slipped onto his lap, straddling him. Their hands moved to cup Carlos’ face, adjusting his head to the perfect angle where Cecil could control the kiss easily. Thumbs stroking just this side of hard against the muscle of Carlos’ jaw, Cecil could practically feel the tension draining out of their lover’s body.

 

Cecil felt Carlos moan against their lips, his large hands stroking up and down their back. Cecil opened their eyes to find that Carlos’ had closed as they kissed; Cecil pulled back to nip at his neck again. Carlos startled and yelped, but wasn’t mad (if the telling bulge Cecil was practically sitting on was any indication). Cecil bared those shark-like teeth in a grin again, which simultaneously aggravated and hopelessly turned Carlos on.

 

“I told you, watch my hands,” Cecil reprimanded. This time, when they kissed Carlos again, they peeked up to find Carlos’ eyes obediently open. “Good boy,” they murmured against Carlos’ hands. Carlos flushed at that, not-so-secretly thrilled with the praise.

 

Slowly, gently, Cecil worked their fingers into the knot of Carlos’ tie and slipped it off. To their delight, Carlos’ hand lighted on their wrist, allowing Cecil full range of motion while it glided across Carlos’ chest while still allowing Carlos to keep track of it. And Cecil will be damned if that’s not the best thing in the world right now.

 

Carlos is swimming in a sea of his own thoughts and feelings and near-stifling arousal, the hardness of his cock straining against his slacks as if to get as close to Cecil as possible. Cecil was tucked against his body in the best possible ways, their chest pressed against Carlos’, hips slotted so wonderfully just right there where Carlos wanted them against his own. They were everywhere, in front and above and inside him, invading his every breath, his every thought and there was nowhere Carlos would rather be right now. Or ever.

 

He slipped his hand under Cecil’s from where they were deftly popping the buttons of his shirt open. “I missed this,” he signed, using the tactile sign language Cecil had come to teach him for one of his lab technicians, Yusra, who was DeafBlind. He felt the exhale of Cecil’s excited breath fan over his cheek, felt Cecil’s smile against his lips.

 

Cecil’s hand dipped under his own and he focused on picking up the rhythmic slides and bumps of Cecil’s reply. “I missed you too. I love you so much, Carlos, my Carlos.”

 

Cecil trailed off, apparently growing distracted by their own arousal as they ground their hips down against Carlos’. Carlos’ cheeks practically stung with how much heat was flooding them, and he slid the hand not cupped over Cecil’s down to their laps. The denim of Cecil’s jeans scratched against his hand as he palmed Cecil’s cock through them, feeling that hardness press into him. A shiver spiking up Cecil’s spine, they let out a moan that Carlos felt vibrating against his jawline. But at the same time, he found that the hand underneath his had tensed, almost vibrating.

 

As soon as he noticed it, it was still again, and Cecil was again desperately mouthing at every square inch of skin they could reach as they continued unbuttoning Carlos’ shirt. And Carlos knew he was going to do anything and everything he could to make whatever that was happen again.

 

Subtly shifting his weight, he flipped them so Cecil was sitting on the couch under him. Their eyes opened, glassy and pupils dilated. Carlos remembered the last time he had seen them so happily horny, and felt a pang in his chest as he realized how long ago it had been. He remembered all the times Cecil had forgone their own pleasure for his, how many times Cecil had politely declined when Carlos had offered to help them come after Cecil had sucked him off. Pushing the guilt aside, he leaned down and kissed Cecil ever so gently, unbuttoning his shirt the rest of the way with one hand and caressing the tops of Cecil’s knuckles with the other.

 

He pulled back a bit to let his shirt slide down his arms and fall to the floor, probably never to be seen again, but who even cared? He certainly didn’t. All he cared about was Cecil, giving Cecil all the pleasure he possibly could and probably even more than that because _goddamn_ , they deserved it. He allowed Cecil to pull him down for another bruising kiss, their hand reaching down to try to yank Carlos’ pants open to no avail. Chuckling, Carlos swatted the hand away and stood up off the couch. He couldn’t resist the temptation to give Cecil a little show, trailing a hand down his chest to his belt buckle, pulling it slowly open before flicking the button and sliding the zipper down. Thumbs tucked into the waistband and eyes firmly on Cecil’s adoring stare and slightly-agape mouth, he pulled his slacks and boxer briefs down, his cock coming free and slapping against his stomach.

 

He didn’t miss the twitch in Cecil’s fingers this time, the index and middle fingers of their right hand flexing at the same time as Cecil’s Adam’s apple bobbed up and down in what Carlos knew was a shuddering inhale. Precome already gathering at the tip of his cock, Carlos forewent any additional teasing and stepped out of the rest of his clothes, settling back down in Cecil’s lap and kissing Cecil again. Cecil whined and shifted underneath him, their hips jerking up, the bulge at the front of their jeans rubbing against the underside of Carlos’ cock. Carlos whined at that, fumbling one-handed to divest Cecil of their clothes.

 

One hand was still grounded above Cecil’s. He hadn’t even remembered doing it, nor would he even dream of moving it now. He shivered as he got Cecil’s shirt off and started unzipping their pants; even when he was the one on top of Cecil, reducing them to this twitching, panting mess of arousal, he knew Cecil was still the one in control. And he really didn’t mind that at all.

 

Cecil did, eventually, help by lifting their hips up to let Carlos to slide their jeans off. Keeping Cecil’s previous warning in mind, Carlos made the effort not to roll his eyes when he realized Cecil had foregone underwear that day. He shrugged internally; that only made what he was about to do even easier.

 

Cecil’s hand clenched, the tendons tensing under the soft skin of their wrist when Carlos took their cock into his mouth. He didn’t grab their hand, but covered it solidly in his own larger one, making sure to memorize every single tremor and twitch as he sucked.

 

Cecil’s cock was heavy on his tongue, thick and uncut and-- and nearly being thrust down his throat as Cecil bucked their hips up. His free hand held Cecil down against the couch, looking up at them. Cecil’s head was tossed back, eyes closed and chest heaving as they trembled under Carlos’ touch. Every move Carlos made seemed to amp them up further and faster than before, until Carlos was messily bobbing his head up and down on Cecil’s cock, practically humping Cecil’s leg as his own cock jerked, desperate for some relief. He was all but entirely focused on their combined pleasure, worshipping Cecil’s cock in every single way he knew how. And he realized everything he’d ever been worried about missing was right here at Cecil’s fingertips as his partner stuttered out “I love you”s and “yes”s and motions that Carlos could only describe as moans and cries.

 

"Ohh, ah, Ca- _ahh,_  Carlos, so good, I'm gonna- ah!"

 

As Carlos took Cecil’s cock all the way to their balls, Cecil’s hand flattened, hypermobile fingers extending to an impossible degree as Cecil came down Carlos’ throat. Carlos’ hand flew from Cecil’s hips to his own cock and it only took a few clumsy jerks of his tight fist before he was coming all over himself, panting into the juncture of Cecil’s thigh and hip.

 

When he looked up, Cecil was smiling brilliantly, rows of pointed teeth glinting as they reached down to yank Carlos onto the couch. Carlos was laughing into their kiss, breath still not quite evened out as he stroked Cecil’s sweat-slick hair out of their face with his non-sticky hand.

 

He leaned over to grab his shirt from the floor, wiping his hand off before tossing the shirt away again, lifting Cecil’s right hand to his mouth and kissing it lightly. Cecil’s eyes shone as they pulled the two of them to lie down, Carlos’ head resting against Cecil’s chest. Cecil’s right hand slipped under Carlos’, rubbing and making loving, comforting circles on his palm. Carlos still didn’t quite know what constituted words and what didn’t, and it didn’t really matter like it did in English, because it was all the same. Carlos closed his eyes and felt the rise and fall of Cecil’s breathing, their legs tangled with his, their hand stroking his. It wasn’t traditional sign language, but Carlos understood each and every one of the thousand ways Cecil was telling him they loved him.

Carlos had never been happier to be Deaf. 

**Author's Note:**

> I fuckin love my lil Deaf gay babies. I'm a Deaf gay baby and I wrote this at 1am and here it is.


End file.
